after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
