I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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