He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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