Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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