HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
