My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
