you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
