Dignity is for republicans.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
