farters have to be the big spoon...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
