Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
