i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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