If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
