after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
