i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
