You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My cat gives me a boner
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
