Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
