you win again, gameday.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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