how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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