Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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