Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
