shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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