Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
