i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
