it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
