She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
