Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
