goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
