i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
