I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
