i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
