Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
