I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
