i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
