btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
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