So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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