4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
