so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
