I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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