At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
