Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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