My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
