Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
