i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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