How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
