I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
