I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
