Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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