He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
