Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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