so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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