i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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