So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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