Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
